I've moved away from my reflective state of mind into survival state of mind. I go from one event to another and I never stop to think about where I am or where I have been. This new state of being or thinking or acting is completely unlike me. I enjoy contemplating where I am in this world of commotion and turmoil. I try to make connections between me and the seemingly random events that occur in my daily living. This is my attempt to slow down and reflect.
As I drove from home to work, I felt a sense of peace, a bit of calm soaking into my skin. I remember moments such as this in the past. The trip from Lubbock to Plainview often brought with it peace and calm and quiet. The perfect fertile ground for thoughts and reflections to grow. The feelings and the thoughts I imagined could happen anywhere at any time. This is true that they can, but there are certain places where they grow better. Is a garden going to grow supple fruit on ground that has not been treated for weeds? It will most likely grow, but the conditions are less than ideal. The weeds will take nourishment from the ground and even sun from the sky as they grow to tower over the fruit plants. Our lives are similar to this. We will not grow as well when we dwell in places with weeds.
I have come to the realization that I miss God. I miss talking to Him. I miss reading His word and being in fellowship with His children. It's strange to miss Him when I know He is always with me. I know that I have turned my eyes away from Him. I want to follow Him diligently. I want to give Him everything I am. I have been giving my everything to school and to other people and to everything and everyone except for God. It is only in HIm that I will find peace and joy and love and grace and forgiveness. All the love that comes from other beings on this earth pales in comparison to His great love. I desire His great love.
No comments:
Post a Comment